Ben and I are now proud parents. Our first child has turned out to be much fuzzier than I would have expected, and his ears, well, he would do best to wear a hat in public if he doesn’t want people staring. He is already eating whole raw carrots, which I’m glad about because his teeth are pretty intimidating. Ok, fine, he’s a rabbit. On that note, have any of you guys heard about that woman in the renaissance who tricked a royal doctor into believing that she regularly gave birth to dead rabbits? Well, that’s not what happened here. Rory is neither dead, nor anything that came from me, which is good because I think in that case my husband might have some questions. Rory is a 3-year-old, Holland lop who is under-socialized and has a history of neglect, which I think means he was a hutch rabbit (and for the militant bunny lobbyists, this is about the worst thing you can do to a rabbit). He has also developed the unfortunate habit of shoving out the contents of his litter box every time he uses it. I’ve told him time and again that this defeats the purpose of a litter box, but he seems determined to do it and then complain and walk around disgruntled about his urine soaked paws and tail for the rest of the day. Sometimes I wonder if this experience with Rory is a lot like how it will be to have kids. Will I gaze adoringly at them for hours on end, cooing while they roll around on the floor, only to moments later, fantasize about “accidently” leaving the door open, allowing them to escape so I can vacuum and reclaim a rather large corner of my living room? Will I one moment be worrying about the scared noises they are making, and the next be furious with them as they fling poop all over my living room rug? I’m starting to think so.
I’ll tell you what I hope WILL change when a baby comes along: the quality of the food and diet information available. I’ve never adopted a rabbit before so my first stop on bringing Rory home was the good old internet; the perfect source of any kind of information you could want; the thing that got me through school, my wedding, multiple moves, wars with various invading insect, etc.; only to discover that apparently no one actually knows what rabbits should be eating. Or actually, it’s more like EVERYBODY has an opinion about what rabbits should be eating, and all of them contradict each other. The science sites might tell you that rabbits should only be given a small amount of pellets and hay everyday and maybe a little bit of fresh produce as a treat, the bunny breeders and bloggers will tell you that rabbits should primarily eat fresh cabbage, romaine lettuce and timothy hay, and that they should be given little to no pellets at all. Wikipedia and Yahoo Answers will ramble on about how lettuce and cabbage is lethal to rabbits, and that mostly they should be fed hay, parsley, and celery (other sites will swear rabbits should never eat celery under any circumstances). The pamphlet I received from the place we got Rory talks about how much bunnies love bananas and that a small piece is the perfect treat, while another place will tell you bananas are addictive and that rabbits shouldn’t be given any at all. I am well aware of the fact that even for people, “healthy” eating habits go in and out of style, but never before in my life have I experienced this kind of frantic fervor about food. The people who say “yes” are screaming it and the people who say “no” are screaming just as loudly. What every side seems to agree on is that a healthy diet is the most important part of taking care of a rabbit. That feeding a rabbit the wrong kinds of food in the wrong amounts will almost certainly lead to an uncomfortable and untimely demise. That a rabbit can and will die within days of eating whatever it is the other site said rabbits should eat on a regular basis. Imagining that when I’m weaning my first born, I could be reading books that alternately claim you should be feeding your baby this vegetable, and that if you feed your baby this vegetable it will kill them within 24 hours, is enough to make me want to postpone pregnancy indefinitely.