I’m going to gouge my eyes out with it.
Ben and I registered last weekend. When I told my mom about it today, she said she thought it would be like making a list for Santa Claus. Exciting, fun and hopeful. Not so much. This year I have had many new and awkward experiences. I have had to strip down to my underwear in front of a number of strangers. I have had to try and eat cake while being attentively watched by a cake consultant sitting right next to me. I have even been corset shopping with my mom and future mother-in-law. But nothing so far has been as awkward as registering for gifts. It’s expensive, it’s tedious if you’re doing it online, and the possibilities are endless! Plates alone present hundreds of options and prices, even if you’re only looking at one store! It’s really mind boggling. Knowing this was going to be a long process, Ben and I started fairly early in the morning and proceeded to take turns being the “oh my gosh, it’s too EXPENSIVE!!!” guy. He took the morning shift, worrying about the absurdly pricey measuring cups and mixing bowls. At lunch I explained (to both of us) that it would be better to register for nicer things that will last longer, and hope that people will put in together. “fewer, nicer gifts, instead of many, inexpensive ones that will have to be replaced in a few years”. Then we got home and I chucked all my advice out the window and proceeded to freak out about the silverware sets that were selling for $49.95 and the pot we wanted that was $240.00. Ben, on the other hand, seemed oddly re-assured by my lunchtime lecture, which forced me to act like the mature, rational adult he thinks I am. After many, MANY hours of deep contemplation about which green dishes we wanted to live with for the rest of our lives, whether cache gold, or alexandra ice silverware were more suitable for our lifestyle, and if it would be appropriate to register for a 24 roll package of toilet paper (sadly, Ben decided it wasn’t) we both began to feel our brains turning to mush and we decided to stop.
Everyone says registering is the nicest thing you can do for your wedding guests. And I completely understand. It’s the only reason we did it (well, that and I didn’t want to end up with things I had to return because we got multiples or already had one). Had it not been for the very serious advice from married relatives and friends, I never would have done it. Doesn’t it seem more than a little cheeky to offer your guests suggestions on the price range of wedding gifts? How do you not feel awkward thinking about your grandmother’s reaction to the $350 mixer on your registry? Part of me wanted to search through every online store to find the $$$$ items and add them in hopes of easing my discomfort by throwing absurdity into the mix. In a way my mom was right, this experience was like making a list for Santa, except I’m an adult and I know who’s really checking the list this time.