Dumb Dumb da Dumb

This Blog entry was going to be called “Going Bridal” and I was going to share the horror and anguish of the last few days during which Ben , my mother and I have been dealing with reserving our reception venue.

But I think this is better…

Last weekend I had a dream that it was the day of my wedding and I was running very late. I ran into the dressing room, at the ceremony site, where all my Bridesmaids were getting ready and glanced around the room to discover that not only had I forgotten to bring my wedding gown, I had forgotten to buy one. But, whatever, I was just going to have to wear the metallic blue plastic suit jacket and lemon yellow mini-skirt I had put on that morning. What I did seem to be concerned about was that I also neglected to buy myself a veil. Fortunately, there happened to be a roll of tulle in the corner of the room, which I grabbed and stapled to one of those cheap plastic kids tiaras that also happen to be there. The last thing I remember about the dream was dashing out the door towards the ceremony hoping that in last few hours, my mother and Diana had managed to find and purchase a fluffy pink flower girl dress for Lucy.

The night before last I had a dream that Ben and I decided to spend the night before our wedding camping out in the parking lot of a storage rental facility. No reason for it, I guess we just thought it’d be fun. After trying and failing to find a comfortable place to sleep on the gravel in the parking lot, we decided it might be a better idea to sleep INSIDE one of the storage units, which proved to be a little more comfortable. As in all my wedding dreams, the next morning I was running late and sped to the ceremony site, stopping only to buy a bouquet. After I got there, I realized I had never gotten around to hiring a caterer or a florist. At the time I was much more concerned about the lack of flowers than I was about the lack of food so I walked around to the sad empty tables and put one tiny flower from my bouquet on each one, hoping that people would see this as a very tasteful centerpiece, if they saw it at all, as the flowers were about the size of  a thumbnail.

I’m glad that my mind freely offers these worst case scenarios, so that I can feel like no matter how badly I screw up during this whole huge wedding project, I’ll never screw up as bad as that nutcase in my dreams.

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